Mr. Cowper I feel compelled to write for you as though you are no longer here.

I remember that spring of 2006 as though it was yesterday. Maybe it was your smiles, jokes, and energy that made me remember it so clearly.

You were an outstanding coach. I didn't know your past, and I didn't know what you did after that, but in those five days you thaught us a very important lesson that anything is possible in life.

With your coaching we were able to do the impossible and beat the Ontario team in that surprising game. We were able to show the country that bunch of new players from BC can succeed against such professional players. We did it all because of your effort.

Your voice still plays in my head, your encouragements, your laughter. In such a cold and windy city you made us all feel warmer and at home.

I remember the day you took us all to niagra falls. We were upset for losing the last game and taking the fourth place. You took us there to show us the other side of the picture. If it wasn't for you, I would have still not seen that amazing place.

Mr. Cowper, we all miss you already. It was way too early to leave us at 55. I wish we could use your knowledge, kindness, and warmth both in goalball and in our own lives as a model.

For decades you have unselfishly helped the blind all over this country to succeed and live a better life. For no money you agreed to coach our team and share your valuable knowledge with us.

I wish we could do something for you for once before you left.
Please don't forget us and pray for our success while looking down at us. I know that I will never forget you.

You are and will be deeply missed.

********

Mr Cowper passed away six months ago and I didn't know. I just found out and it was a shock for me.. Today, I also found out that my mom's aunt passed away. I can't believe any of this.. My poor teacher's dad I think also passed away today and hearing the story of him was heart breaking.

Well so much for my normal life. I'll start off with the 25th. I went to school on that Thursday and realized I didn't miss much school work. I just had to rush an essay which I finished the next Monday and handed it in on the 31st. Me and like five other people were the only ones who handed it on time. The teacher told the others that it's fine and they can hand it in whenever. I got really pissed because we worked our asses off to make that paper on time. GRRR. I hope the teacher puts this in mind when marking my paper.

Anyways, the school has been pretty uneventful since then. I have another paper due on Thursday of next week and I'll have to hand in a portfolio but I can't start on those since I need to get more instructions. Hopefully they won't be too stressful and I'll be done on the 16th! On the 17th Kaitlyn might come over and I'm really excited for that since I haven't seen her for 2 weeks already. Hopefully it'll be warm and we can do more fun stuff together in a more relaxing surrounding.

We took Woodie's stiches out yesterday and the vet said it's a little infected so he gave us more pills. I don't really believe a thing that they say anymore because I don't think it's infected at all and they just want to rip us off. I gave him a pill this afternoon but his stomach seems to not like it so I won't give him a pill tomorrow and i'll just stop. He already threw up all over my living room today, I don't want that to happen again.

And if anyone's interested to know, I have officially decided to give Woodie back to the guide dog school. I simply can't deal with the stress, physical, and emotional responsibilities anymore. I also can't pay 300 a month for his pills and, ear infections, and special diet. I also can't deal with his agressiveness anymore. I love him to death and the reason I'm giving him away is because I want to be more fair to him and to myself as well as my parents because they have also done so much for him. Once I'm living on my own or with Kaitlyn, I can't be both myself and my mom. I know it's gonna limit my mobility a lot, but on the bright side canes don't need food, money, vet, or picking up after. I can also go to places with less anoyance of having a constant companion. So true, I'll lose some benefits, but the troubles are a lot more than what I get. I hope my boy gets a good caring home with a family that can spend enough time for his needs.

Anyways, other than this stressful decision, I am also trying to find a job for may until September because I really do need money and I need to get something positive done. I already applied for a job in the CNIB and they seem to want me, but it's in Ontario and I decided not to go there. It won't really be worth the money since I have to pay for the flights, and I'll have to be back on July 11th and Auguest 1st for two weddings, and I have my birthday of course. :P So wish me luck to find something around here.

I'll update this if anything more interesting happens in my life.. So far it seems to be a lot. lol

This week was very eventful. Thursday I didn't go to school because I was super tired from the last day and Woodie had a stomachache. I figured I'd just stay home until my uncle and cousin came here. At around 5ish I went and picked up Kaitlyn at Tssawwassen and we came home and she met my parents. We had dinner then we went to bed. The next day was new years and we had to go to Coquitlam for the Goalball nationals. While getting there, I screwd up the bus route and we had to walk for like 15 blocks in the rain with 2 heavy bags. I was punished a little for making her go through that... jk. We met all the goalball people and it was nice to see everyone again. BC did great on Friday and Saturday. There was a little misfortune and BC men's team became fourth despite they won 3rd place. Women also got 3rd place. Anyways on Friday night we had dinner at a Greek restaurant then we went back to the hotel. When we woke up everybody was already gone back to the school so we just arrived in time for the Gold medal game. Then we came back home and watched movies and just hung out on Saturday night and Sunday. On Sunday Woodie got bitten by another dog and we had to rush him to the vet. Poor boy got stiches and was in a lot of pain for 2 days. Now he's getting better and we'll go back for a recheck tomorrow. On Monday we drove to Victoria so my cousin could see the town and we dropped off Kaitlyn in the way. We got lost in a little jungle for half an hour and by the time we got downtown it was already getting late. so we just checked out the undersea garden, had lunch and came back home. Today yesterday I was way too tired to do anything and today we went to Science world and had lunch in downtown somewhere. I've missed 2 classes so far and that sucks. I hope the teacher can update me on the stuff I missed. Besides someone would need to watch Woodie while I'm gone. Other than these, tomorrow cousin and uncle will leave and things would go back to my almost normal life.

Since it's Wednesday and Wednesdays are my stress days I figured I'd write here. I have a lot of stuff to read for tonight and when I get home right after eating I'll have to do all the readings for tomorrow morning. Fortunately after today I'll only have one more class on Wednesdays and that will be in 2 weeks. I'm really glad. I still haven't got my mark for my second essay. I was supposed to get it yesterday and the teacher messed up and forgot to send it to me. I may get it today.. I am extremely nervous and don't want to see it ever. The first essay I wrote I thought I did a great job and I got 20 out of 30 and on this second one I think I did a terrible job so I just hope she didn't fail me. I had a nightmare last night about failing this course... GRR. lol

Other than that, everything's fantastic... Everyone probably already knows about me and kaitlyn so I wouldn't get into that. I just really really miss her and I hope to see her soon after my Supporting Families class is over.

So today was Saturday. I had paddling and it was really tiring but it was a lot of fun. The weather was perfect to be on the water. Although I'm really glad I won't be there to paddle in the rain next week, I'll be in Victoria! I booked all my appointments, made all my reservations, and almost done packing which is a lot for 2 nights. It's all Kaitlyn's fault for turning her house into a freezer and I have to take 4 layers with me. jk. It's really nice of her for letting me stay there.

I have an essay due for Monday and it's a really tough one specially that the instructor is really picky. On Tuesday I have a test, on Wensday I have a whole bunch of crap to read, and for Thursday I'll have to miss 1 hour of my class to catch the ferry. That's pretty much it for the outlook this week. I'll be back in town by next weekend.

This kid is seriously stupid. His parents are fucked up too. Not mentioning how he came across to... being more than friends with this ugly girl. Really EWWWWW

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBdFvPL76ZA

Wow the last entry was brutal. Anyways here's a little funny thing that happened a few nights ago. Someone sent me a spam and then added me on msn. I pretended to be a cop and made her confess to everything. It took a while, but it was well worth it. She was really scared but if I was really a cop, I had a really nice case against her. For security reasons, I won't post the convo here. :P

Ok. I can't believe how many times this has happened. Whenever I'm trying to make a move, an asshole comes out of nowhere and either makes my job extremely difficult or ruins my plans. I have lost the sense of what's right and what's wrong. Grrr,

btw, only FArhoud would get this, so let's leave it that way.

Today was such a short but tiring day. I got up at 12:30, helped my mom make lunch, then time just passed by so fast. I had to make two calls to SPCA and Vancouver animal control to shut two of our neighbour's dogs up. They bark non-stop from dawn till sun down and never shut up. It really pissed me off today. I doubt they've came to check it out yet.

Other than that, I made some appointments for Woodie Wood, and did some overdue paper work. Now time to do some school reading then sleep so I can actually go to work tomorrow.

I got across to this article in my class. It's a very clear perspective of parents who have to deal with all the emotional and physical pressures of raising a kid with autism. Trust me, it's a lot more difficult than raising a blind kid. Here it is.

Today's been such a lazy day. I had an awesome lunch with my parents and sister. It was chicken and rice and all the awesome vegetables beside it. I haven't had anything like it for a long time.

Woodie's been really emo lately. He doesn't really eat breakfast anymore and then he throws up acid. He's acting really weird. I don't know what's wrong with him. I mean it's not his first time, but like how can he not eat for 24 hours and still function.

Yesterday I finally applied for the fulltime program at Douglas. I didn't think it would be so simple. I just hope they accept me without complications. I can't do all the paperwork again. Other than that, the Supporting families class is going pretty well. There are Lots of sad subjects that we'll have to read. Everyone were almost crying in class after watching a video and the teacher gave us chocolate and baloons. lol. It's a really fun class. Well, it's sometimes way too awkward for me and the other two guys because they talk about awkward stuff sometimes. But I can't believe it'll be half done this Wensday. I already handed in one essay that I left for the last minute. I don't think it turned bad though. Since nobody in that class knew anything about essay writing, I hope at least I beat them in that. It was like a breez for me.

In 10 days my second class will start. It's going to be compressed into two months and six hours per week. I don't care how much reading I'll have to do, I just hope there aren't lots of writing stuff. I get extremely lazy and unmotivated when it comes to writing. In mid March, my current class will end so I'll have 9 hours per week for one month and a half. It'll be tough when I start working next Friday. It's just four hours per week for now but I asked them to give me more hours. I really need the money. I had a financial deal with my dad and after agreeing to it, a week later he realized that it's not really going to benefit him so he didn't pay me the 400 bucks he owed me. Now I"m left with a 400 dollars bill and another 600 dollars twition fee to pay all on my own. Oh well, he's not getting paid for the rent this month and if he doesnt' like it he can kick me out.

We didn't talk for like one month until two days ago I got sick of it and started talking to him again.

Today's class went well. I was at college for 5 hours because I had to do the job interview and all that paperwork. now I have an essay due next class with a whole lot of reading to do.

Last night I went to Langara just to make sure the teacher assistant program really isn't for me and it was a waste of time. The job opportunities are only limited to schools and I figured I can't be stuck at schools with little anoying kids. So I'm staying at Douglas and try to improve my GPA.

Anyways, time to try the new wii game I downloaded. Hope it works and the 4.5 GB isn't wasted.

I haven't updated for a while again and I'll try to write about everything that's been going on.

Starting with college,, I finally got accepted into my program and although it's going slow, but I'm glad to be done with all the paper work. I've been looking at some other simular programs at Langara which is much closer, but I truely dislike that college and the program isn't what I was having in mind. So I don't think it's worth doing all the paper work again and transfer to Langara. It's just 2 years and hopefully I can get through it easily. My first class has already started and it's very easy and fun. I can't believe 3 hours passes by so quickly. It only goes until Mar15th, but my second class starts in February and I'll have a tight scheduel for a month or so.

I also got a job at Douglas which can hopefully give me some experience and cash to save. I've been wasting a lot of money lately and I hate it.

Other than those, I found more TV shows to get addicted to. My list grows longer every a few month. Raising the bar is very interesting. Although they didn't get good reviews at the beginning, a record number of people watched it. Anyways one of my shows is on soon. I hope to update more often.

I'm getting sick of hearing about the

I was thinking that maybe my destiny really does suck. I've been so sick in the past week and it's just not going away. It was only 10 months ago that I had a surgery and it was one of the toughest experiences of my life. I wasn't awake for at least 1 week after the surgery, everything was like a movie during that time. I was sleeping during the day, and waking up during the night with pain. My uncle was in coma at the same time and he died 2 weeks after. Now I'm wondering, why every single year, all the bad things happen during the Arabic month of safar? It's been like 5 years, all the worst experiences of my life happen during that month. Every calendar year, it begins 11 day earlier in our calendar. So 2 years ago, it started around mid February, and this year is supposed to start in mid January. 2 years ago horrible stuff happened at that time, same goes for last year, and 3 years ago, and 4 years ago. This year it's started much earlier... I don't know why.

Maybe it's just a thought I have and it's a myth. But it's been so true.

I have to find a pray or something to break this cycle. Otherwise, I can't go through another sickness at least this year.

1 essay is finally done. I don't know how I did it, but I finally started writing it and it's now done. I'm SO proud of myself.

Now my goal: 2 more essays by Friday. I'll be right on track if I do that.

Other developments, I'm in pain. I try to ignore it, but it comes and goes. Researched about it online, and it shouldn't be anything serious, but I really need to see a doctor and get treated. It's starting to worry me.

Stupid babies.